Appendix A: It Gets Worse
Mar. 27th, 2026 12:00 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
notalwaysright_feedRead Appendix A: It Gets Worse
I had my appendix out in the late '80s. It had gone gangrenous, so I felt horrible before the surgery.
notalwaysright_feed
A Closing Argument Past Closing
Mar. 27th, 2026 11:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead A Closing Argument Past Closing
Woman: "We just left Brickhouse because they didn't accept our IDs, and now you're telling us we can't get a drink here!"
Which was pretty stupid of her to say, honestly.
I call Brickhouse and speak to the manager.
Me: "Did you just send a couple home?"
(no subject)
Mar. 27th, 2026 11:00 amnotalwaysright_feed(I had a reputation for willingness to do the disgusting jobs that came up around the cinema without complaints) Duty manager: [My name] could you come into screen 10? (Confused I do so and realise why, it seemed someone pooped in their pants and when they left they left patches of it down the stairs. […]
(no subject)
Mar. 27th, 2026 10:00 amnotalwaysright_feed(Among my many duties, I help with running ad-hoc reports out of our database. These are generally very simple requests that, if those requesting them could be bothered to learn our system, they could easily run themselves. But they don’t, so it falls to me instead. I get a request come in for “our revenue […]
Penny Wise, Hour Foolish
Mar. 27th, 2026 07:00 amnotalwaysright_feed
Caller: "I realized I put the wrong account number, so I stopped the transfer."
Me: "The second transfer got stopped because it was the same dollar amount as the first transfer, so the system flagged it. To avoid this again, you would need to change the amount, even by a penny."
Follow Friday 3-27-26
Mar. 27th, 2026 12:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmith posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
followfridayGot any Follow Friday-related posts to share this week? Comment here with the link(s).
Here's the plan: every Friday, let's recommend some people and/or communities to follow on Dreamwidth. That's it. No complicated rules, no "pass this on to 7.328 friends or your cat will die".
A Step Too Far
Mar. 27th, 2026 03:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead A Step Too Far
He asks all these questions about which one I think is better and whether I recommend one or the other, and a bunch of other inane stuff, and all I can tell him is that the ONLY difference is the extra step and about $5 in price.
Customer: "Okay, let me think about it for a minute."
Read A Step Too Far
Some Customers Need To Chill
Mar. 27th, 2026 01:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead Some Customers Need To Chill
Customer: "How am I supposed to drink my Coke with no ice!?"
Me: "The Coke cans we have are straight from the fridge, so they are served cold."
Customer: "But… but… what is a Coke with no ice?"
Comma Meets Karma
Mar. 27th, 2026 12:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead Comma Meets Karma
A minute or so later, one of our coworkers, who is a stickler for correct grammar (she even calls herself the "Grammar Nazi" replies all:
Read Comma Meets Karma
If The Shoe Fits…, Part 14
Mar. 26th, 2026 11:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead If The Shoe Fits…, Part 14
Customer: "This shoe is too small! You moron! I thought you said this is my size!"
The cashier wordlessly takes the shoe, reaches inside, pulls out the paper filling, and hands it back.
A Kernel Of Truth
Mar. 26th, 2026 10:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead A Kernel Of Truth
Manager: "[Coworker], look! I bought this popcorn for you! It's gluten-free!"
Coworker: "...it's popcorn. Why would popcorn have gluten in it in the first place? [Manager], how much did you spend on that popcorn?"
Read A Kernel Of Truth
It’s Been Ink-rypted
Mar. 26th, 2026 09:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead It’s Been Ink-rypted
An older customer is completing a transaction. The digital capture pad prompts for a signature at the payment stage.
Me: "Ma'am, please use the stylus to sign on that screen there."
Customer: "No! Give me a paper receipt! I'll sign that."
Read It’s Been Ink-rypted
Putting The Power Into Power Tools
Mar. 26th, 2026 08:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Putting The Power Into Power Tools
Me: "Excuse me, gents, but whoever of you drives that car there, could they move it somewhere else? It's blocking my drive, and I can't get out."
Tradie: "That's me, mate, but that's the only place I could park on the street that's free."
Me: "Well, I know that's annoying, but—"
Tradie: *Starts up a power tool to drown me out.*
Wasn’t Expecting The Nutty Plot Twist
Mar. 26th, 2026 07:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Wasn’t Expecting The Nutty Plot Twist
Diner #1: "I only have ten dollars in my wallet."
Diner #2: "Huh? But you ordered all that food! You told me you were paying?!"
Diner #1: "Don't worry, I have a trick for this kind of thing."
Don’t Bank On Finding A Winning Solution
Mar. 26th, 2026 05:55 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Don’t Bank On Finding A Winning Solution
Seconds after I clocked out, I got an email from my manager, saying my bonus would be deducted for the month.
Looking For A Book (En)Title(Ment)
Mar. 26th, 2026 05:45 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Looking For A Book (En)Title(Ment)
Me: "West Virginia? You're calling a store in Maryland."
Caller: "Well, they weren't picking up, so I called the first number I could find on Google!"
Me: "That branch is a college store, and they're closed because it's spring break."
Caller: "So you're gonna come over here and open the store for me!"
Cancel Culturally Deficient
Mar. 26th, 2026 05:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Cancel Culturally Deficient
Caller: *Angry.* "What the f*** is this reminder fee on my account?!"
Me: "That's a small fee we charge when you're late paying for your subscription."
Caller: "But I don't want the subscription anymore!"
Dialing Up The Past
Mar. 26th, 2026 04:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Dialing Up The Past
Coworker: "—Kids today are so spoiled." *To his son.* "Do you know how lucky you are?"
Coworker's Son: *In the background.* "You sound like you walked to school in the snow. Uphill. Both ways."
Read Dialing Up The Past
A Storm Of Entitlement, Part 10
Mar. 26th, 2026 03:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead A Storm Of Entitlement, Part 10
I work at an insurance agency. Literally the day before a major hurricane makes landfall, a customer calls me.
Caller: "I need to buy insurance on a home."
SMS = Social Media Service
Mar. 26th, 2026 02:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead SMS = Social Media Service
Teen #1: "I texted mom to ask her if she wanted the regular ranch or the brand that's on sale, but she's not responding."
Teen #2: "Have you checked her Facebook?"
Teen #1: "Uh… no? Why would I do that?"
Croak and Dagger
Mar. 26th, 2026 01:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Croak and Dagger
I live with two other housemates in a pretty rural, swampy part of the country. I'm in my room, getting ready to sleep, when I overhear:
Housemate #1: "Help! There's an intruder downstairs!"
Read Croak and Dagger
Bridge Over Troubled Data
Mar. 26th, 2026 01:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Bridge Over Troubled Data
Customer: "I want to transfer the information from my old phone to my new one."
Me: "I can help you with that. Is that phone the old one or the new one?"
Customer: "The new one. The old one fell off the Golden Gate Bridge."
(no subject)
Mar. 26th, 2026 12:45 pmnotalwaysright_feed[In high school, I taught myself the BASIC computer language for the TRS-80. So when I got to college, I was fairly well prepared to learn new computer languages. For Computer Science 111, the professor taught us the Pascal programming language.] [After noting all the parallels between the languages, I start to find the lectures […]
(no subject)
Mar. 26th, 2026 11:45 amnotalwaysright_feedI vividly remember my high school graduation for all the wrong reasons. The event itself was frustrating for me to sit through. The venue was poorly air conditioned, on top of the uncomfortably warm lights. But I got my diploma and immediately headed out with my family. We had made reservations at a nearby restaurant, […]
(no subject)
Mar. 26th, 2026 11:00 amnotalwaysright_feedBeen reading stories on the female period, and my wife is currently on hers, so this is very current. We’ve been together for so long and are so tightly knit that I instantly recognise the first signs she’s gonna get her period, usually a few days before they actually come. They are very regular, start […]
When Suite Turns Sour
Mar. 26th, 2026 11:00 amnotalwaysright_feed
Guest: "I want an upgrade tomorrow."
He’s here about eight nights.
Me: "Unfortunately, an upgrade is not available for the whole duration, as we are sold out on Saturday."
Guest: "Give me the upgrade until Saturday, and then I'll switch back over."
(no subject)
Mar. 26th, 2026 10:00 amnotalwaysright_feed(I once lived with/dated a special kind of idiot. Now that I am several years removed, I can laugh at some of his antics. I am hoping others can too.) BF: *after putting nutritional yeast in warm water and waiting* “This yeast is BULLSHIT! I waited like an HOUR and it did NOTHING!” Me: *sighing* […]