(no subject)
Mar. 6th, 2026 10:00 am![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
notalwaysright_feedI’m at a train station with a branch of a popular burger chain inside. I’m early, so like most of their customers, I decide to grab lunch while I wait for my train. While I’m waiting, an older man approaches the pickup counter, leans over it, and says loudly: Customer: My train is coming, I’m […]
Don’t Bring A Knife To A… Well, Anything
Mar. 6th, 2026 10:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead Don’t Bring A Knife To A… Well, Anything
Me: "The police have it; you'll have to go to the station."
Man: "You're kidding! That was expensive!"
Me: "I'm sorry, but we had to report it. They took it away."
(no subject)
Mar. 6th, 2026 09:00 amnotalwaysright_feed(A colleague just showed me a funny video which is a parody of Adele’s “Hello” in which several telecallers offer increasingly absurd products until the recipient of the calls snaps. My phone starts ringing…) Me: “Hello?” Telemarketer: “Hello from Worldwide…” Me (at the top of my lungs): “I MUST HAVE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES […]
Hiroshige studies
Mar. 6th, 2026 09:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mekare posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
artI only just now remembered this community and thought my project would be of interest to some. I've started a series of monochromatic composition studies of the Japanese woodblock printer Hiroshige Utagawa (1797-1858) to improve my eye for compositions and backgrounds.
The previews lead to the entries in my journal with the full views:
This is the tag I'm using for all pieces in this series: project: hiroshige studies
Have you ever done a study of any professional artists for practice? If so, did it help you?
The previews lead to the entries in my journal with the full views:
 |
 |
 |
 |
|---|
This is the tag I'm using for all pieces in this series: project: hiroshige studies
Have you ever done a study of any professional artists for practice? If so, did it help you?
I’m Gonna Offer You An Olive Branch And Just Make It
Mar. 6th, 2026 08:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead I’m Gonna Offer You An Olive Branch And Just Make It
Customer: "Could I get, like, a Gibson?"
Me: "Sure thing."
Customer: "But I want that with olives instead of cocktail onions."
Me: "Dude, that's called a martini."
Low Angle Facial Anatomy Vid!
Mar. 5th, 2026 11:38 pmFollow Friday 3-6-26
Mar. 6th, 2026 01:05 amysabetwordsmith posting in followfridayGot any Follow Friday-related posts to share this week? Comment here with the link(s).
Here's the plan: every Friday, let's recommend some people and/or communities to follow on Dreamwidth. That's it. No complicated rules, no "pass this on to 7.328 friends or your cat will die".
Generating Meaningless Complaints
Mar. 6th, 2026 04:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead Generating Meaningless Complaints
Me: "Thank you for calling—"
Customer: "—Shut up and get me a supervisor."
Me: "All right, while I do that—"
Customer: "—No! I don’t want to talk to you! Get me a supervisor now!"
We Can’t Believe They Thought That Would Work, Part 16
Mar. 6th, 2026 02:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead We Can’t Believe They Thought That Would Work, Part 16
Less than five minutes later, my manager is speaking to me when I see the same customer storming back to the counter.
Customer: "You got my drinks wrong!"
Me: "...How?"
Signed In Blood
Mar. 6th, 2026 01:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead Signed In Blood
My coworker bumps the first box. It tips, and I jump back. It misses my left leg and slams into my right calf.
Me: "Ouch! I'm fine, it's okay."
I look down and see a few scratches, but nothing too crazy. I finish loading the good box onto the cart. Then I notice the customer staring at me like she’s seen a ghost.
Read Signed In Blood
When The Customer Doesn’t Clock On When You’ve Clocked Out
Mar. 6th, 2026 12:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead When The Customer Doesn’t Clock On When You’ve Clocked Out
Me: "I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm clocking out now, but my manager here will—"
Customer: "—I will not be passed on like some kind of problem! I expect you to finish ringing me out without interruption!"
Read When The Customer Doesn’t Clock On When You’ve Clocked Out
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 26
Mar. 5th, 2026 11:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 26
My sister is a twig. Whenever she eats a lot, her stomach balloons up and looks like she's pregnant. We went out for her birthday to her restaurant of choice, so of course, she's gonna splurge and eat a lot.
The waitress walks by, and she asks:
Waitress: "How far along are you?"
Laptop Flop, Part 45
Mar. 5th, 2026 10:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Laptop Flop, Part 45
Me: "You don’t want the box or the sleeve? It’s useful for transport."
Customer: "Nah, it’s just trash that takes up space."
Me: "Sir, it’s raining pretty hard. You might want a bag or—"
He walks straight out the door, bare laptop in one hand, charger in the other, into the downpour.
Read Laptop Flop, Part 45
No Longer My Peanuts, My Circus, Or My Monkeys
Mar. 5th, 2026 09:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead No Longer My Peanuts, My Circus, Or My Monkeys
Ex-Coworker: "I remember when you put in your two weeks, and you made sure you told everyone how we all really should get a raise. [Boss] really didn't like it when you started listing similar jobs with the same or fewer responsibilities online that paid better!"
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 11
Mar. 5th, 2026 08:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 11
Customer: "Wait, stop! How much are those checking out at?!"
Me: "Uh, those are… they're $6.67."
Customer: "That's awfully close to $6.66!"
A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 14
Mar. 5th, 2026 06:55 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 14
We were sitting on the porch when a car turned the corner, and as it passed our house, the driver leaned out the window and yelled "F*GS!" clear as day. I wish I had misheard him, but it was unmistakable.
You Hold Up The Nuggets, They Hold Up The Ambulance
Mar. 5th, 2026 06:45 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead You Hold Up The Nuggets, They Hold Up The Ambulance
Customer: "What happened? Where did she go? I want my food!"
Manager: "Ma'am, my employee has passed out. Please pull out front, and we will get to you when we can."
Customer: "No, I'm in a rush! I want my food now! That's why I came through the drive-through!"
Ordering From The Grid
Mar. 5th, 2026 06:00 pmnotalwaysright_feed
Caller: "No cashier physically offered me a receipt, so my order is free!"
Me: "Sir… how would a cashier have physically offered you a receipt during an online order?"
The Clerk Is The One Who Refuses To See
Mar. 5th, 2026 05:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead The Clerk Is The One Who Refuses To See
Clerk: "No. Dogs.
Husband: "He's literally the most commonly recognised service dog."
Me: "He's legally allowed in the store. Call your manager if you need to verify."
Multiple Senior Moments In A Row
Mar. 5th, 2026 04:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Multiple Senior Moments In A Row
Coworker: "Did no one tell you? First Wednesdays of the month is always senior discount day."
Me: "Oh, cool."
Coworker: "Not cool. It's… well… you'll see. Just... be about ten minutes earlier than usual tomorrow."
Looking For Breakfast In All The Wrong Places
Mar. 5th, 2026 03:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Looking For Breakfast In All The Wrong Places
But the worst mistake anyone I know has ever made was my mother putting away breakfast.
I head to the kitchen to get my own breakfast and glance at the microwave. There's a box of cereal in it. The microwave isn't on, the box is just in there, sitting on the little spinning plate.
Total Eclipse Of The Brain, Part 9
Mar. 5th, 2026 02:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Total Eclipse Of The Brain, Part 9
It is the day of the April 8, 2024, solar eclipse in the USA. I'm watching it with a friend.
Friend: "So, what's blocking the sun?"
Me: "…the moon, [Friend]. It's the moon that's blocking the sun."
Friend: "Why are you saying it like that?"
A Latte Loose Change
Mar. 5th, 2026 02:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead A Latte Loose Change
I am at the campus coffee shop at about 10:30 AM getting a cheap refill (50c), and another customer comes up and sees a huge jar of change I put there that the cashier is counting.
Customer: "I don't know if he is trying to scam you or just an a**hole dear, but you don't have to take it."
Read A Latte Loose Change
(no subject)
Mar. 5th, 2026 01:45 pmnotalwaysright_feedI’m the a**hole in this story. I’m over at a friend’s house, shooting the breeze while we watch TV. During a lull in our conversation, a character on the show we’re watching makes a remark about something being “the best idea since sliced bread”. Me: You know, I’ve never understood what the h*** is so […]
The Iron Curtain Call
Mar. 5th, 2026 01:30 pmnotalwaysright_feed
Me: "Okay, so you're all going to have a debate, and each one of you is gonna be a historical dictator. Take a piece of paper from the pile and read out your name."
Student #1: *Takes paper.* "I'm Mussolini."
Student #2: *Takes paper.* "I'm Mao Zedong."
Student #3: *Takes paper, says nothing.*
(no subject)
Mar. 5th, 2026 12:45 pmnotalwaysright_feedGotta love found humour, especially when it’s like Not Always Working on a couple of levels. For context, I work as a shipper/receiver at a heavy truck sales/service company. Directly across the road is a waste “management” facility that deals in recycling cardboard, plastic and paper. When the wind blows we get all three categories […]
Herb Your Enthusiasm
Mar. 5th, 2026 12:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Herb Your Enthusiasm
Instacart Shopper: "WAIT! DON'T GO ANYWHERE. I NEED YOU!"
Me: "What do you need?"
Instacart Shopper: "I have two orders going at once, and I don't know where any of the items are on either one."
Read Herb Your Enthusiasm