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notalwaysright_feedRead Cancellations Are On A Roll
Customer: "Hiiii… you're going to hate me."
Me: "How can I help?"
Customer: "Sorry, we ordered too much food. Can you cancel the baked lobster roll?"
The one that is ALREADY IN THE OVEN.
notalwaysright_feedRead You’re Looking For Binoculars, Not Bifocals
I work for an optician and eyeglass retailer. A customer has just had some new lenses made and is testing them out in his new glasses. He looks unimpressed.
Customer: "How do I zoom in?"
notalwaysright_feedRead Will Not Be Influenced By The Influencer, Part 11
Me: "We don’t do comped meals for exposure. But you’re absolutely welcome to review us if you’re dining as a regular guest."
Customer: "Wow. You’d rather miss out on thousands of eyes than give away one lunch?"
notalwaysright_feedRead This Task Became A Paper Chase
Tech Support: "If the printer asks for paper, please add paper. This is not something you should submit a ticket for. This is something you can do yourself."
Me: "Thank you for the response. The paper tray is filled to the brim. It still asks for paper when scanning."
Tech Support: "Please add paper to the max line."
Me: "Paper present. Still does not scan."
notalwaysright_feedRead If Only There Was A Word For Getting People To Do Unpaid Labor…
A customer has been walked through a high-end custom kitchen setup. Top-line appliances, imported finishes, marble worktops, brass fittings, the works. We sit down to go through the itemised quote. As expected, it’s not cheap.
Customer: "I’m sorry, this can’t be right. This is the price with installation?"
Read If Only There Was A Word For Getting People To Do Unpaid Labor…
notalwaysright_feedRead Marketing Is Not Their Calling
Owner: "Fairs and expos abroad would cost too much for us to be present, between shipping materials and people there. I have a better idea: take the Yellow Pages for the biggest city and give a phone call to all plumbers you find in there and offer them our products."
notalwaysright_feedRead Locked But Not Locked Down
This one time, though, our dispatch operators forwarded a call by a citizen asking for said footage, because when she came back to her car, she noticed someone had rummaged around in it.
notalwaysright_feedRead There’s A Latte To Unpack Here…
A customer walks in, talking loudly on her phone, and doesn't pause the call while ordering.
Customer: *Into phone.* "Hang on, I need to get my coffee, yes, that one, the one they always mess up."
notalwaysright_feedRead Doesn’t Have A Penny To Their Name
Cashier: "That's $2.01."
Customer: *Hands over $2.*
Cashier: "It's $2.01, sir
Customer: "I don't understand."
notalwaysright_feedRead A Dog Pees On A Post, Not Gets Shipped By Them
A customer approaches my counter carrying a small crate with air holes. I assume it's a package with fragile items… until it sneezes.
Me: "Ma’am… is there a dog in there?"
notalwaysright_feed(I’m the receptionist of a secondary school, the school is having a few days where the topic of sexual health is being taught to kids whose family have given permission and the Sixth Form students, 16-18, are getting a workshop. As one could imagine, condoms are being handed out to those who are of consenting […]
notalwaysright_feedRead Get The Order Right Or I’m Coming In Hot
Despite it being a hot day, I choose a hot drink because I always get a hiccup from cold drinks, and it's embarrassing. When I enter the shop, the drink is already waiting for me in the pickup area. However, I ordered a hot drink, and this one clearly has ice cubes floating in it. I flag down one of the baristas.
notalwaysright_feedRead Just Give Him A Sharpie And A Mirror
A guy walks into the tattoo parlor. I’m prepping for my next appointment when he marches up to the counter.
Customer: "Yeah, I want a big eagle, full back. But I need it done by tonight. I got a pool party tomorrow and I want people to see it."
notalwaysright_feedRead Coasting Through Parenting
Me: "Sorry, bud. You’re real close, but not quite tall enough yet."
The kid looks disappointed but doesn’t argue. His dad, however, rolls his eyes and scoffs.
Dad: "Oh, come on, he’s fine. You’re really gonna ruin our day over an inch?"
Me: "It’s not about ruining anyone’s day, sir. It’s about safety."
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followfridayHere's the plan: every Friday, let's recommend some people and/or communities to follow on Dreamwidth. That's it. No complicated rules, no "pass this on to 7.328 friends or your cat will die".
notalwaysright_feedRead Well, At Least He Was Efficient?
Manager: “Hey, I just saw next week's schedule and [New Hire] isn't on it. Why isn't he on shift?"
Supervisor: "He’s not with us anymore. Let him go this morning."
Manager: "Already? It’s been, what, four days?"
Supervisor: "Four. Long. Days."
notalwaysright_feedRead She Keeps Misplacing That Apology
Wife: "Where are my car keys?"
Me: "I don't know, don't you usually keep them in your handbag?"
Wife: "I do, but they aren't there. You must have moved them."
Knowing full well I hadn't done so, I sighed internally, knowing this was going to be one of those conversations.
notalwaysright_feedRead Next Time Stick To Actual Pizza
I work at a ski resort as an instructor as well as a floater in the resort itself (reception, equipment rental, etc.). I'm finally on lunch when a coworker comes in to find me.
Coworker: "I need you to cover for me."
Me: "I literally just sat down for lunch."
Coworker: "I know and I'm sorry, but some idiot went on a black diamond slope when he's a beginner."
notalwaysright_feedRead Letting Their Imaginations Run Wild Doesn’t Mean Letting THEM Run Wild
My cousin and her family are over for the weekend. It’s been about fifteen minutes.
Her youngest has already used three couch cushions to build a fort, dumped out an entire basket of laundry for “carpet snow,” and is currently chasing our cat with a salad fork.
Her middle child runs by naked from the waist down, holding what I hope is chocolate and yelling, "I’M A LAND OTTER!"
Read Letting Their Imaginations Run Wild Doesn’t Mean Letting THEM Run Wild
notalwaysright_feedRead Frankensoda And The Monster
Woman: "—Why did you take the last of it? Other people want it too, you know!"
Me: *A little taken aback.* "I didn't know it was going to run out."
Woman: "It's just so rude to take the last of the soda. Why would you do that?!"
notalwaysright_feedRead When They Think They Have The Run Of The Place
A guy at the gym storms up to the front desk.
Customer: "Why are all the treadmills taken? I pay good money; I shouldn't have to wait."
notalwaysright_feed(I have recently written a story for a creative writing class about a river town that engages in human sacrifice to keep the river from destroying the town. My mom does not normally like horror but has become surprisingly invested in the story. My parents also have a cabin in a small town on this […]
notalwaysright_feedRead This Kid Is Toying With The Law
A kid, maybe seven or eight, comes in with his dad. The kid won't stop begging for toys after being told no, which isn't uncommon, but is particularly petulant. When I hear a product hit the ground, I go to check it out.
notalwaysright_feed
Customer: "Yeah, I’ve been standing at the taxi rank outside the central train station for fifteen minutes. Where are your cabs?! I had to Google you guys!"
Me: "Did you call ahead to book one?"
Customer: "No. Why should I?"
notalwaysright_feedRead A Froyo-No-No
I work at a self-serve frozen yogurt place. A customer approaches the weighing station with a mountain of frozen yogurt and what looks like half the gummy bear population.
Me: "All set?"
Customer: "Not yet. I haven’t added any toppings."
Read A Froyo-No-No
notalwaysright_feedRead We Can’t Believe They Thought That Would Work, Part 9
A teenage-looking kid walks up to me at the till with about $90 worth of sweet vodka drinks.
Me: "Can I see your ID?"
Customer: "Oh, I don't have my wallet with me."
notalwaysright_feed
Mom: "Nobody warned us there would be nudity in the artwork!"
Me: "Well, many of the pieces are from the Renaissance. It was fairly common for the time—"
Mom: "That’s disgusting. I brought them to this f****** country for culture, not… filth!"
notalwaysright_feedRead A Very Rushed Produce-tion
Customer: "This stupid thing won’t scan. I’ve been trying for five minutes!"
Me: "That’s because it’s loose produce, sir. You have to look it up on the touchscreen."
Customer: "That’s ridiculous! I don’t have time for this nonsense. Just do it for me!"
notalwaysright_feedRead When The Boss Has A Laborious Request
Martin: "Rachel, I know your leave starts end of next month, but any chance you could push it back a few weeks? We really need all hands on deck for this product launch."
Rachel: *Blinks slowly.* "You want me to reschedule labour?"
sforzindadancing_serpent
