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Just Noodle On That For A Minute
Apr. 23rd, 2025 01:30 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
notalwaysright_feedRead Just Noodle On That For A Minute
Weird Stranger: "Don't get those. They're genetically modified. They'll f*** up your bum and give you Alzheimer's."
Me: "Uh, what?"
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You’ve Lived A Privileged Life If You Think THIS Is Discrimination, Part 6
Apr. 23rd, 2025 01:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead You’ve Lived A Privileged Life If You Think THIS Is Discrimination, Part 6
He goes on a rant as he's herded, with gems such as:
Man: "This is a restaurant! Just send a waiter to my table! It's not that hard!"
Man: "This is a free country! I should be allowed to sit down!"
Man: "I can't believe I'm being harassed by a little Hitler Gestapo bully!"
Read You’ve Lived A Privileged Life If You Think THIS Is Discrimination, Part 6
The Only Race Issue Here Is The Race To The Coffee Pot!
Apr. 23rd, 2025 12:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead The Only Race Issue Here Is The Race To The Coffee Pot!
One of the office admins (also Hispanic) calls me one day before lunch asking if I could brew coffee before one of the professor’s lunch meetings. Not exactly my job, but hey, simple task, and I get paid no matter what.
Read The Only Race Issue Here Is The Race To The Coffee Pot!
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Apr. 23rd, 2025 12:15 pmnotalwaysright_feed(I’m a female police officer. I have been called into a fabric shop due to a group of kids causing some problems. My colleague is talking to the staff when I notice an older woman slip a reel of ribbon into her pocket. She clocks me looking, smiles sweetly and slips another one in) Woman: […]
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Apr. 23rd, 2025 11:30 amnotalwaysright_feed(A coworker approaches me out of the blue and sits on my desk. It should be noted that I’m very sarcastic and “pick on” a lot of my coworkers in good fun.) Coworker: You really don’t like me, do you? Me, leveling him with a blank stare: [Coworker]. Coworker: Yes? Me: I don’t like ANYONE. […]
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Apr. 23rd, 2025 11:00 amnotalwaysright_feedThere is a tiny local amusement park near my hometown. They occasionally host ‘town’ nights, where if you show ID from the town they are featuring you don’t have to pay admission. A friend of mine tags along with me, my parents, my sister and I on one of these nights. She doesn’t have her […]
The Karma Queue Is Right Here, Ma’am
Apr. 23rd, 2025 11:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead The Karma Queue Is Right Here, Ma’am
Mom: “Um, excuse me. There’s a line, and you cut me off.”
Woman: *Smugly* “No. I will not move. You were on your phone, which means you're not in line!”
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Apr. 23rd, 2025 10:30 amnotalwaysright_feed(I’m at the mall with someone who has been a friend since childhood. [Friend] had an accident several years ago, and was paralysed from the waist down. However, I pick on her and tease her just as much as I did before her accident; something she appreciates. We’re walking out of an electronics store, where […]
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Apr. 23rd, 2025 10:00 amnotalwaysright_feedDuring my last semester of college, I had two classes that required group projects, and both of these classes wanted us to use Adobe Slate instead of Powerpoint. Since I had never used Slate before, I taught myself how to use it at the beginning of the semester. When it came time for my groups […]
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Apr. 23rd, 2025 09:30 amnotalwaysright_feed(Years ago, when I was working at my first I.T. job, we had a somewhat ancient mainframe system that was prone to “going down”. If this happened, and you were in the middle of making some program changes, you’d lose your work. So, saving frequently was a good idea.) Me: Aw, crap … I think […]
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Apr. 23rd, 2025 09:00 amnotalwaysright_feed(My parents and I are at a restaurant. At some point I realize that the background music being played consists mainly of songs that I remember from the 80s.) Me: (singing along quietly) “I’m your Venus, I’m your fire, your desire.” (speaking normally) I just realized they’ve been playing songs from my generation. Mom: Isn’t […]
Logo Uh-Oh
Apr. 23rd, 2025 09:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead Logo Uh-Oh
Agency: “Our new client has a gruesome logo. Could you try to come up with some other ideas? Just spitball ideas for an hour. If the client likes any of them, we’ll spend more time on this.”
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(no subject)
Apr. 23rd, 2025 08:00 amnotalwaysright_feedMe: “Hey, [friend], do you know anything about [subject]? Friend: “What?” Me: “The subject that we are working on?” Friend: “What subject? Food? TV shows? Movies? SUBWAY?” Me: “No, the SCHOOL subject?” -facepalm- Friend: “We are not in school, though..” Me: “We are!” Teacher: “What are you two arguing about, now?” Friend: “She keeps thinking […]
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 24
Apr. 23rd, 2025 07:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 24
Employee: "Sir, the checkout lanes are up front. I am just stocking groceries."
Customer: "Huh?"
Employee: "The registers are up front."
Customer: "Well I thought you were a customer. So… I have to go up front to check out?"
This Lady Really Takes The… Well, Not The Cake, Anyway
Apr. 23rd, 2025 05:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead This Lady Really Takes The… Well, Not The Cake, Anyway
The cashier scanned her two items, the lady paid, and I was just starting to get them back into her cart when an ear-splitting bellow shattered the relative peace of the entire front end.
Lady: “NOOO!”
You Don’t Have To Sandwich Yourself In The Middle Of The Line To Get A Sandwich
Apr. 23rd, 2025 03:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead You Don’t Have To Sandwich Yourself In The Middle Of The Line To Get A Sandwich
We line up, and two other customers get behind us as we start the process. I'm second in line and as I get the meat on my sandwich, the rude man walks up. He plants himself in front of the veggies; right in the middle of the counter where you build your sandwich; and stares at the menu.
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So Dum Sodium
Apr. 23rd, 2025 01:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead So Dum Sodium
Mom: "Is [name on the order] here? I have his food."
Nurse: "...no? None of the staff have that name."
My mom is confused for a second before an idea comes to her.
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The Birthday Gift Of A Painful Lesson
Apr. 23rd, 2025 12:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead The Birthday Gift Of A Painful Lesson
Me: "Hi, it's your manager. Did you know you were scheduled to be here almost an hour ago?"
Sales Assistant: "Today's my birthday."
Me: "Oookay? That isn't answering my question."
The Container Has Fallen Into The Sar-Chasm
Apr. 22nd, 2025 11:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead The Container Has Fallen Into The Sar-Chasm
Unfortunately, we always get customers who do not seem to understand this and insist on their container still being loaded even when it was delivered too late. The worst one I ever dealt with was a customer who insisted on his container being loaded on a ship that had already departed and was at sea heading to the next port.
It Was Almost A Picture-Perfect Crime
Apr. 22nd, 2025 10:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead It Was Almost A Picture-Perfect Crime
Boss: "[Employee], we're here today to talk about work conduct. I want to ask what you think we should do in this situation."
Employee: "What situation?"
The Meat Lover Is A Hater
Apr. 22nd, 2025 09:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead The Meat Lover Is A Hater
Caller: "I want the meat-lover pizza, but could you, like, put vegan on the label?"
Me: "The label can only say what the pizza in the box is."
Caller: "Yeah but, you see, we have this annoying vegan friend and we want to play a trick."
Her Employment Here Wasn’t Written In The Stars
Apr. 22nd, 2025 08:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Her Employment Here Wasn’t Written In The Stars
We hired a new employee only for me to find her job hunting online as soon as I came to train her. She wasn’t even being subtle about it.
Not Even Remotely Possible, Part 3
Apr. 22nd, 2025 07:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Not Even Remotely Possible, Part 3
Corporate Manager: "I know the business better than anyone, I should be fine."
Me: "I don't doubt it, but customers are idiots. You need to be prepared for that."
Corporate Manager: "That's a horrible thing to say about our customers! They can't be idiots if they choose to get service with us!"
Made Him An Offer He Couldn’t Refuse, Eh?
Apr. 22nd, 2025 05:55 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Made Him An Offer He Couldn’t Refuse, Eh?
Owner: "I wanna make sure none of your boys have connections to any criminals. Oh, and that Reagan guy is saying it's a good idea to start doing drug tests, so we need to sort that out."
Forever Two-Hundred-And-Twenty-One
Apr. 22nd, 2025 05:45 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Forever Two-Hundred-And-Twenty-One
Customer: "Pack of [brand cigarettes], please."
Me: "Can I see some ID?"
Customer: "I don't have any on me."
Me: "When were you born?"
The Manager Makes A Valid Point
Apr. 22nd, 2025 05:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead The Manager Makes A Valid Point
Manager: *Sounding exasperated.* "Sir! For the fifth time, everything we sell is electronic! This is an electronic store! Please tell me what you're looking for."